One Too Many
by PunandRobots
Summary: G1. After a night of revelry, Starscream awakes to find himself the filling in a grounder sandwich.  SLASH!


_Author's note thingy_: Hey all. I've been absent from this fandom for a while due to just weird stuff happening and family issues with my mom being really sick. This came to my head and I thought I would write it. I may make it a series, but I'm not sure yet. This is definitely Megs/Screamer/Soundwave, but more focuses on Megatron and Starscream for this part. Reviews welcome.

* * *

Starscream awoke to a throbbing processor and his instruments warning that his energon level was precariously low. The beautiful jet stretched gingerly, wincing at the feedback loop in his CPU. His mouth felt as if a dozen glitchmice had done something disgusting in it and ran off, and his glossa was swollen and sore.

Groaning, he turned in his berth and his servos brushed against solid metal. Confused, since he knew he had not turned toward the wall, he waited for his optics to online. It took them a moment to run through their restart sequence, but when they finally came online and focused, Starscream blinked, and then tried not to scream.

He was looking right into the helm of Megatron. Leader of the Decepticons, so-called supreme warlord. Well, the supreme warlord's vocalizer was rattling loudly. He looked as if he had been deep in recharge for quite a while. Starscream forced himself to not go into stasis shock. What in the _Pit _was he doing in a berth with Megatron?

A rustling noise at his aft startled him, and he felt the brush of a servo close to his …

Stunned, Starscream turned his helm and locked optics with …

"Soundwave!" The Seeker's breath left him in a gasp. "What in Primus's name are you doing …?"

The spy's visor flashed brightly. "Processing: Chance that CPU is in extended sleep mode."

Starscream offlined his optics briefly. "I don't think I'd feel like such slag if I were still recharging, so you probably aren't either. What are we doing in a berth _together_ … with _Megatron_?"

The visor flashed again. "Possible explanations: One - Injury."

"Other than a pounding processor ache, my functions appear to be in normal working order," groused Starscream. "What else could it be?"

Soundwave just looked at him for a moment. Starscream's optics went wide in their sockets.

"No … _no_. There is no slagging way that I … that Megatron … that you … that the three of us …!"

Megatron's snoring stopped abruptly, and Starscream froze in horror when the warlord began stroking his cockpit, his optics still offline.

"Mmm … yes, you beautiful, treacherous fool … you like that, don't you?" The silver mech's voice was tired but threaded with desire, and a wide, slightly goofy grin spread across his mouthplates. "More, you delicious traitor … yes … take all of it …"

Starscream looked back at Soundwave, his faceplates molded in an expression of utter terror. Soundwave's visor stayed dark as he intoned:

"Second possibility: Three-way interf—"

"No …" Starscream all but whispered. "It … it can't be. All of us? I … I don't remember anything … it couldn't have happened –"

"Starscream … "

Megatron's voice was soft, almost gentle. Starscream turned toward his leader and saw his optics flickering. The grin faded a little bit. "Starscream?"

The smile died completely when Megatron's optics went completely online.

"STARSCREAM!" Megatron sat up quickly, his faceplates going almost white. "What the frag -?"

The Seeker vaulted over Megatron's frame and landed heavily on his peds a few feet away. "I don't know what's going on either! I came out of recharge to see _you _and Soundwave –"

"Soundwave!" Megatron had an unobstructed view of his TIC now that Starscream was no longer in the berth. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Unclear. Probability: Three-way interf—"

Megatron turned abruptly away before his third could finish that sentence. He stood up somewhat shakily, but glaring cosmic daggers at his Air Commander.

"You have three kliks to explain why you are in my quarters, in my _berth –_"

"Actually, _mighty Megatron, _these are _my _quarters!" Starscream shot back. "So I believe _I _am owed an explanation as to how you and Soundwave got here and why both of you were wound around my frame like a bad case of cosmic rust!"

"You lying little _glitch_ …" Megatron began, but looked around at his surroundings. "Wait … these _aren't _my quarters."

"Affirmative." Soundwave was sitting up, too, one servo massaging his data storage compartment. "Time spent in Starscream's quarters: Approximately seven Earth hours."

"What? That's impossible!" Megatron took a step, but grimaced, holding his head again. "Why does everything seem so slagging dark in here? Wait …" he glared at his unadorned arm. "Where the frag is my fusion cannon? _Starscream_!"

"Don't look at me!" The Seeker took a few steps backward. "I don't even know how either of you got here. The last thing I remember is … is …" His processor spasmed once more and he groaned. "Oh _no … _the celebration!"

"_What _celebration, you fool?" shot back Megatron, but he stopped short, and his optics constricted in pain. "Primus … was that last night?"

"Affirmative."

Starscream groaned again, bits and pieces of the previous day – and night – coming back to him. He and his Trine had completed a successful energon raid while the flesh creatures manning the source were away celebrating one of their silly customs – "Valentine's Day," they'd called it. As was his custom, Megatron called a celebration in the officer's mess hall for the soldiers to fill up on a cube or two of high grade and enjoy their triumph over the fleshlings and their Autobot pets.

That was all Starscream remembered. He did recall the energon being quite potent, and it was clear from his throbbing processor that he might have had one too many, but that still didn't really explain why or how he and his immediate superior and immediate subordinate ended up snuggled in a berth together.

"The energon …" Megatron said with a sharp curse. "That fragging energon. I can't remember a slagging thing. I only had three cubes, but I thought something tasted off in the last one …" He rubbed his helm and looked over at the Communications Officer. "Any ideas, Soundwave? Starscream's quarters are the farthest from the mess hall. Even if I were feeling ill, why come here? And where the _frag_ is my fusion cannon?"

"Starscream's quarters: Closest to medbay. Supposition: Megatron wished to visit medbay. Entered Starscream's quarters instead."

"I don't care how overcharged I might get – I know how to get to medbay!" snarled Megatron. "There must be some other explanation!"

"Besides, you cannot just _stroll _in here," said Starscream with an offended look. "I do have a security code on my door. I would have had to let you in … _both _of you. I can't think why in the name of Primus I would have done such a thing."

"Second supposition: Three-way interf –"

"NO!" Megatron and Starscream snapped in unison. They locked optics, and Starscream felt his derma heating uncomfortably.

"There's no way in Pit we did … that."

Megatron started to speak, but settled for nodding instead. "Agreed."

Starscream cast a quick glance downwards. His interfacing panel was slightly askew, but that happened sometimes during recharge. And there was dried lubricating fluid along his crankshaft, but … well, in mech terms, he was still a youngling, and sometimes overloads happened during his cycling hours. There was no real evidence suggesting that he'd done anything except _recharge _with Soundwave and Megatron.

Still … the warlord's mumbled words before he came online did make Starscream wonder. "Delicious traitor"? The Seeker was sure Megatron hadn't been thinking about Shockwave: he didn't fit _either _description.

"It is almost time for morning drills," said Megatron, avoiding the optics of his second and third. "I need to see Hook for a diagnostic. Obviously something was not correctly filtered out of the energon. I also need to find my fusion cannon!" He glared briefly at Starscream. "I expect to see you both on time, in the officer's mess, for morning refuel."

He strode quickly to the door, but stopped and turned around with a deadly glare. "You will speak of this to _no one _or I will rip your circuits out through your exhaust valves!"

Megatron exited then. Starscream lowered his aching helm, barely aware that Soundwave was leaving, too, without a word. When they'd both had gone, the handsome Seeker lowered himself gingerly onto his berth and tried to get his thoughts in order.

_What just happened here?_

* * *

A few rooms away, a certain purple and black Seeker was laughing until coolant was running out of his optics. Next to him, a blue Seeker was shaking his helm in dread.

"Warp, you've gone too far this time. You'll be slagged if they found out what you did."

"Aw, c'mon TC, it's hilarious!" snickered Skywarp. "They were all so overcharged they could hardly move! None of them so much as twitched when I warped them all into Screamer's quarters! I only wish I could've been around to see the looks on their faceplates when they came out of recharge!"

"Starscream and Megatron might have been overcharged off their afts," said Thundercracker, "but Soundwave's a fragging telepath, remember? Even if he doesn't get it now, one day you'll be thinking about the best prank you've ever pulled, and Soundwave will be reading your thoughts, and then suddenly, you're gonna wonder how your wings got up your skidplate!"

"You're no fun, TC," the dark Seeker grumbled. "Go on, morning refuel's in a few billion astroseconds. You can use the refresher unit first."

Thundercracker got up, gingerly holding his helm. For a mech his size, he was something of a lightweight, and high-grade energon tended to hit him hard. Skywarp waited to hear the hiss of refresher fluid in the small cabinet before he stood and warped away.

* * *

Soundwave barely looked up at the small popping sound behind him. He'd been expecting him for more than a few kliks now.

"Skywarp."

"Er … hey, Soundwave." The dark Seeker looked nervously around him, swallowing hard but trying for a smile. "Have a good night?"

The blue mech barely moved. "Purpose of visit?"

The Seeker's smile faded completely. "Look … I did what you wanted. TC … er, Thundercracker even thinks it was a prank. Starscream and Megatron .. they don't remember anything, do they?"

"Affirmative."

"Uh … good. I guess. So, we're even now, right? You'll erase that little, um, _thing _that Laserbeak recorded the other joor? I mean, I was a little … you know … but I didn't really _mean _that I wanted to do … that with Thrust's cone and Megatron's spike. I mean …"

"Information: scheduled for erasure." Soundwave glanced at the Seeker. "Additional assistance required."

"This _again_?" Skywarp groaned. "You're gonna get me slagged!"

"Negative. Information contained in Laserbeak's memory: more dangerous to you than this."

"Okay, okay, but they're gonna have to be overcharged for it to work again," said Skywarp. "It doesn't take much for Screamer, but for Megatron …"

"Acknowledged." Soundwave turned away. "Skywarp: dismissed."

Alone again, Soundwave considered recent events. It was a great thing being a telepath. Thanks to his abilities, Megatron and Starscream's desire for him was no secret. Their desire for each other was even more apparent. Soundwave wished Starscream could have seen just what had been cycling through Megatron's CPU as he'd recharged. Soundwave himself had quietly lusted after his commanding officers for vorns. A few more "strange" situations like the one they'd found themselves in this morning, and his beautiful superior officers would stop being stubborn and bow to the inevitable – that the three of them could make, as the humans said, beautiful music together.

The spy allowed himself a small smile behind his faceplate. Next time, however, they would wake up in _his _quarters.


End file.
